We Gave It to Google*

Being sick is one thing. Being sick along with your wife and two daughters is another. Being sick along with your whole family in China is yet another. And that's exactly where we found ourselves last December. There was Ella with her 102 degree fever, Kayla barely unable to hold down even a sip of water, me passed out on the floor from near dehydration, and Katrina trying hard to care for the rest of us in between trips to the bathroom. I was lucky (or blessed) to have some friends take me to the hospital that night for an IV, and another friend who came over to help Katrina with the girls. (That friend's family got the same diabolical bug a few days later.)

I remember it all so clearly. I couldn't even stand to look at food for the next three days, and I could only tolerate the blandest of soup for a week. Kayla, who was seven months old at the time, couldn't eat solid food without vomiting for the next month.

What I wanted more than anything during that time was information. I wanted to know that my little girl would be okay, that she could continue to put on weight after her false start with solids. So we went online for answers. And then we went to the doctor. And then I prayed--just to cover my bases.

Now I believe in prayer. Not because prayer works according to my design, but because it works according to His--which means that I don't always get what I want when or how I want it. I believe in prayer because it forces me to acknowledge that His beautifully-crafted plan bends for no one--not even me. Maybe that's a paradox, but it's one that helps me to sleep at night.

And yet--as it was the bottom of the seventh with a man on third and an unpredictable pitcher on the mound--I called up the bullpen. The Internet made me no promises that our little Kayla would be okay. But that didn't matter because I was in the driver's seat. I was saving Kayla's life with a few taps on the touchpad.

Kayla's healthy now and happier with life than she's ever been. As it turns out, she didn't have some rare condition of the intestines that would have certainly forced us to leave China (one of the many diagnoses I stumbled across after hours of bleary-eyed browsing). And I still thank God for every day He gives us together as a family. Once the rain goes it's easier to see clearly--to see the perfection of every pitch. But somehow, in the present with all its unknowns, God is good, but God plus Google are even better.

Such is life in the Information Age. But what to say of that assurance of things hoped for?

*I was inspired to write after reading this article by a young mom wrestling with faith and doubt. In contrast to her devout parents, when faced with cancer, she writes, "They gave it to God; we gave it to Google."

Nothing Can Separate Us...

Dear friends,

Praise the LORD, o my soul,
all my inmost being, praise His holy name.
Praise the LORD, o my soul,
and forget not all His benefits—
Who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases,
Who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion,
Who satisfies your desires with good things
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s. (Ps. 103:1-5)

We want to give you all an update on the past couple of months for our family so you can share in this part of our journey. The past couple of days have reminded us of God’s faithfulness to us, His creatures, but especially of the hope we have of life forever in the New Heavens and New Earth. Life as we know it now is sometimes not the way it’s supposed to be—which helps us to press on even more with the work of being light where there is none.

A few of you might remember the night we found out that Katrina was pregnant. We were in the middle of a Skype conversation with a few of you, trying to fix our computer, which had been broken for three weeks, and Katrina shared with me in the background the most surprising news of our first year in China. We were excited and overwhelmed at the same time, as we already had the two year plan down, complete with a family reunion in Thailand right about the time the baby was due. So we changed our plans. After a long process of figuring out where to have the baby, we decided to stay here in China (Beijing) provided that everything with the pregnancy was normal. Even though that means extra expenses related to pre-natal care and delivery, the benefits are continuous language study, relationship building, avoiding the expense of relocating our family to Australia for a few months, and being able to bring the baby “home” straight from the hospital. We want to do everything possible to bond our family to this place.

Some good friends of ours had a beautiful baby girl last month at the same Beijing hospital, and so we went to visit them and check it out. We were really happy with the place, and soon booked in an appointment to do our first ultrasound for yesterday (Friday). This was to coincide with the time my mom was visiting from the States so she too could see the hospital. That everything was happening in Chinese was encouraging as a test of language progress, but it made the whole morning a bit surreal. An hour after arriving at the hospital, the sonographer was looking at us and telling us what we already sensed—our baby had no heartbeat. She is with Jesus (Ella is still convinced that baby Shedd is a girl), and we are here in China thinking of how to tell our friends in a way that brings Him glory.

The first question that at least one close local friend asked us when we told her we were pregnant was, “Are you going to receive (i.e. keep) it?” Almost no one in China can conceive of a second child, much less a third, and almost every pregnancy test sold here comes with a business card for the nearest “family planning” clinic. Chirpy jingles fill the airwaves here telling women that they can come in one afternoon and be back to work the next day. A good friend even got an unsolicited text message on his phone today hawking cheap abortions. So in that sense, it’s hard to imagine our local friends actually grieving over the loss of baby number three. Bie nan guo. Don’t be sad. Ni hai you ji hui. You still have a chance (if you’re really that foolish). Pray with us that we might know how to love and be loved during this time. Pray that we can honor the short life of our baby in a way that sheds light on the beauty of every little one made in His image.

Thank you to all of you who are already praying—we appreciate all of you more than we can say in a mass e-mail. We will send out a proper newsletter soon with more details on our plans for the coming months. Be praying that He will guide us with His wisdom through the summer months and into the fall semester. One exciting thing coming up is an intense week of English corners and outreach at the end of this month here in our area. The original plan was for an English camp in north TJ, but due to H1N1 (swine) flu concerns, the host school cancelled the camp for this year. Instead we will hang out with students and kids on a more informal basis, in partnership with local brothers and sisters. What an amazing opportunity it will be to walk alongside them and those who will be coming to serve from the US. Please pray for protection, boldness, and grace to permeate these weeks.

An immediate prayer need is for Monday morning, 8:00 Beijing time, we will be returning to the hospital for a check up. At that time, if things haven’t progressed naturally, Katrina will need to have surgery. Pray for us to be trusting the Lord during this time. The girls will be looked after by my Mom back in Tianjin while we are away.

We would love to hear from you guys when you have time. Because of our recent computer problems, we have lost more than a few e-mail addresses. Please send us the updated addresses of anyone you know who might like to receive our updates but currently is not, as well as your updated contact info. You can get in touch with us any time on Skype (username: katrina2103).

Pray with us that we will not forget all His benefits during this time. His love really does endure forever, and we are resting in that promise.


Love,
Tyler, Katrina, Ella, and Kayla

So what's it like to travel with a two year old?

Sometimes people ask us what it's like to travel with a baby. But to date, no one has ever asked me what it's like to travel with a two year old. Being two is that constant collision of curiosity and limitation which causes every kid Icarus to dither away precious moments writhing on the ground in confined anguish.

Which is exactly what my two year old was doing the other day on the flight home from Bangkok while waiting in line for the loo. That was until she discovered the one thing better than a tantrum--buttons. A few seconds of unadulterated joy later--plus one frantic phone call from the captain to the flight attendant nearby--the plane's emergency landing beacon was switched on and then back off. "It was just a kid," said the flight attendant to the pilot's relief.

Not just a kid. It was my kid.

Excuse me, I believe you have my stapler...

So yesterday I went to E-Mart with Ella. It's my favorite big box store in Tianjin, and here's why:

ME: Can these staples be used in this stapler [of the same brand]?

STATIONERY SALESMAN: No.

ME: Oh, so they're for the mini-stapler over here (pointing)?

SALESMAN: No. Those aren't staplers. Those are staple removers. [The picture on the box was of a mini-stapler].

ME: So do you have the right kind of staples for this stapler?

SALESMAN: No.

ME: Do you have a stapler that will take the staples you do sell?

SALESMAN: No.

ME: Will you have them in the future?

SALESMAN: No.

ME: No worries, thanks anyway!

A completely predictable conversation, but only if you live here. :-)

Solzhenitsyn

A great article in CT about biblical freedom. Good reading for both sides of the political spectrum, and a fine refutation of libertarian ideology from one of the great champions of classical liberalism.

The Smog Games?

I can't wait til tomorrow. Some friends of ours are getting together to go watch the Americans beat Japan in soccer just down the road from here. The day after that some local friends are coming over to watch the opening ceremony.

My excitement, however, comes in spite of the valiant attempts of several Western media outlets to shower these Olympics with the worst kind of cynical reporting I have perhaps seen in my lifetime. Photographs of Beijing "smog" are broadcast daily across American televisions without one credit to those who have worked for 7 years to create dramatic improvements. Never are such photos accompanied by an actual scientific measure of pollution. Today's hit piece in the Guardian used the Chinese in-house index (which is reading safe but high at the moment)--the same index it has trashed as untrustworthy. It is clear that these media outlets care more about the health of pampered athletes living in China for a short time than they care about ordinary Chinese who breathe the very same air every day. Furthermore, reports of terror attacks in China are riddled with words like "alleged" and "claim." It is no surprise that the Chinese public accuses Western media outlets of falsifying evidence and doctoring photographs for sensational purposes. It certainly leaves me wondering and disappointed.

Despite all efforts to become a compassionate, internationalist society, the West still has a lot of snobbery to atone for.

The Flame

Today I was on a mission--to get a picture of the torch. I'll spare you the details of my quest save telling you that I left home at the unrighteous hour of 8:30am. And lo, the torch was long gone. But I did come away with a cool Beijing 2008 flag. Ella likes it, except that she can't say her "L's" and so she calls it a, well, you know.

Last night we were walking home, and seriously, there were about 10 busloads of college freshmen leaving campus to be in position along the relay route. Anything here that involves a TV camera is never ever spur-of-the-moment. Scripts and cues are rehearsed for hours, even days. I caught the end of today's celebration on TV and saw some old ladies doing some choreographed flag waving for what seemed like an hour. Their arms must have been tired. A few of them had stopped smiling.

For most, however, the mood is tentative excitement. At exactly 8:08:08pm on 08-08-08, the games will begin. Except of course for the preliminary soccer match between the USA and Japan that I'm attending the day before. Jia you mei guo! (加油美国!)

It's a fun time to ask people what they're really thinking about big issues, since there seems to be a lot of introspection going on these days. One world, one dream, say the signs. If only we could be taught to dream of the world the way it was supposed to be, and the way it will be again one day. Most of us have forgotten that we're the problem and not the solution. I guess you could call that the audacity of faith.